HOW TO NOT CRY WHILE PLAYING R.E.P.O.

Fear is not the enemy. Fear is a trusted companion, the sweaty, screaming friend clinging to your arm as you sprint blindly into a wall. You cannot eliminate fear. You can only hope to weaponize it into something vaguely useful, like faster reflexes or louder blame-shifting.

Step one of mental preparation: accept that you will scream, you will run, and you will betray your closest friends without hesitation. This is survival, not a trust exercise.

Survival is a team effort... until it isn't. When a monster comes out of the shadows, you have approximately 0.3 seconds to make a critical choice: which one of your beloved companions is slower, dumber, or more emotionally fragile than you. Prioritize. Assess your surroundings. Push Greg into a doorway if you have to. Remember: if you aren't the slowest, you aren't the deadest. Friendship is temporary. Survival is eternal.

At some point, you will trip, you will scream, and you will be horrifically dismantled by something with more limbs than manners. That's okay. What matters is how you die. Are you a sobbing wreck in a corner? Or are you screaming 'YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE' while throwing your body at Headman? Choose the second option. Always choose the second option. Legends aren’t born from survivors. Legends are born from hilarious, poorly thought-out last stands.

This guide was written in loving memory of me, who lasted exactly four minutes before Headman turned me into modern art. Good luck out there!