How to Find Wyatt Earp's Fat Hog in Wild West 2

There is a big greasy hog roaming in the west and dog gon' it we're gunna find it. This guide has been updated due to a high number of funerals.

"You’re going to be huntin' Hog for a long time. It’s a big vast wasteland out there. You, your children, and your children's children, can hunt this Hog for the next hundred years and you’ll never find it. If you do, your grandkids' grandkids will be tellin' stories about the day you got your guts turned into a slip 'n' slide by a 900-pound pork demon." -Kissin' Hogg Barlow, Last Surviving Member of the 1st Hog Huntin' Expedition

Alright, you're here for one reason and one reason only: Finding Wyatt Earp’s Fat Hog. This ain't your grandma's Sunday bacon. This beast is a walking, grunting, wallowing abomination against God and man. It's said to be so mean it once stared down a tornado and the tornado blinked. So thick-skinned that a cannonball just gives it a light massage. So full of hate that it sweats pure vinegar.

Follow these steps with the precision of a brain surgeon and the courage of a man with nothing left to lose. You might just get out with your dignity, your horse, and your internal organs in the correct order. Probably not though.

Step 1: Mental & Spiritual Preparation (Don't Skip This, You Damn Fool)

Before you even think about loading your rifle, you need to prepare your soul for what you're about to face.

• Forget Everything You Know: That deer you shot? That bear you skinned? Child's play. This hog operates on a different plane of existence. Your hunting skills are as useful here as a screen door on a submarine.
  
  
• Settle Your Affairs: Write a will. Say goodbye to your loved ones. Leave a note for your horse explaining why you led it to its certain doom. It's the decent thing to do.
  
  
• Learn the Language of the Hog: Communication is key. Below is a short educational video to get you started. Watch it. Absorb it. Become one with the oink.

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Step 2: (This is the most important step) GIVE UP

Seriously. Go hunt a perfect-rated rabbit. Go fish for a legendary sock. Go do literally anything else. The world is full of things that won't actively try to erase you from history.

Still here? You stubborn ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. Fine. Let's do this.

If your skull is as thick as a stump and you’re fool enough to try, you’ll want to head to Bluewater Marsh, north of Saint Denis.



Now, I've marked on this here map where the last fools were found, or what was left of 'em after the slaughter. You might find him near. But if you caint find 'em, you'll have to find him with your other senses.

• Smell: Follow the smell of pure, unadulterated ass. It's a unique bouquet of rotting cabbage, swamp gas, and deep-seated regret. When your eyes start to water and you taste metal in your mouth, you're getting close.
  
  
• Sound: Listen for a sound like two boulders grinding together, mixed with the screams of a thousand tormented souls. That's it either grunting or digesting a former bounty hunter.
  
  
• Sight: You won't see the hog. You'll see its impact. Trees bent away from it as if in prayer. Birds falling from the sky, their tiny hearts having burst from fear. A perfectly good horse skeleton picked clean and used as a toothpick.

Good luck. You'll need it.

Legend has it if you manage to bring this monster down by some miracle of divine intervention or sheer, dumb luck.. you'll be rewarded.

• The Loot: You’ll get the Legendary Boar Tusk and Pelt. The tusk is so large it's considered a navigational hazard in some ports. The pelt is so greasy you could lube a locomotive with it, and so foul it's said to ward off vampires, salesmen, and potential romantic partners for life.
  
  
• The Curse: You might also get a lifetime of paranoia. Wyatt Earp’s Fat Hog doesn't stay dead. Oh no. That would be too easy. It raises from the dead in just 3 days time, resurrected in a greasy, vengeful blast of swamp mud and fury. It will be bigger. It will be meaner. And it will remember you. It will hunt you across the entire map. It will show up while you're trying to play dominoes in camp. It will wait for you outside your hotel in Valentine. It will become your personal, pork-shaped stalker.

So maybe just turn around now. Find a nice deer to shoot instead. Let this hog haunt someone else's nightmares. The west is big enough for one of you, and it ain't you.